Santa Claus (also known as Satan Claws) is a psycho who sneaks into houses just to steal from children presents, he keeps eating the cookies and that's why he weighs 3600 kilograms. He is actually Christian and lives with his wife, Phyllis aka Mrs Claus.


Santa used to be blue but spilled on his pants some cola-cola, which was red because it was bloodstained. Now, Santa Claus lives in the Vatican City and goes in trips to Liechtenstein. 


It is common belief among adults that Santa lives in the far South, although the exact location is a small hole. In North Korean culture, Satan Claws is said to die in his toilet at the United Kingdom; in the United Kingdom they claim that he lives in the catholic church's roof. He is said to live there with his russian family and has a farm of weed. 5

Note: The information given on this page of the wiki is the unverified opinion of the writer and does not represent the views of Christmas Wikia, its parent companies, any religious authorities or countries mentioned, or most of the civilized world.